Before I go
by Ira's sorrow
Summary: anyway, this is a story I wrote because I found the Riddle awesome. It starts after Maerad leaves the wolf pack but before she goes back to Pellinor. this is another of those stories where I completely mess up the plot, only I'm not sure where this one is going.
1. Chapter 1: wind

_You lie.._

_silent there before me..._

_Your tears.._

_They mean nothing to me..._

_The wind.._

_Howling at the window..._

_The love.. _

_you never gave..._

_I give to you.._

_Really don't deserve it..._

_But now.._

_There's nothing you can do..._

_So sleep.._

_In your only memory..._

_Of me..._

_My..._

the large white wolf that had been sitting on the stone outcropping, nose outstretched as though listening to the air, whined as though to drone out the sound of the wind

_Here's a lullabyto close your eyes_

_Goodbye_

_It was always you that I despised_

_I don't feel enough for you to cry, oh well _

_Here's a lullaby to close your eyes _

_Goodbye _

_Goodbye _

_Goodbye_

_Goodbye_

_So insignificant, sleeping dormant deep inside of me_

_Are you hiding away, lost, under the sewers? _

_Maybe flying high, in the clouds? _

_Perhaps you're happy without me _

_So many seeds have been sown in the field_

_And who could have sprout up so blessedly _

_If I had died, I would have never felt sad at all_

_You will not hear me say 'I'm sorry' _

_Where is the light, wonder if it's weeping somewhere?_

_Here's a lullaby to close your eyes_

_Goodbye_

_It was always you that I despised_

_I don't feel enough for you to cry, oh well _

_Here's a lullaby to close your eyes_

_Goodbye_

_Here's a lullaby to close your eyes _

_Goodbye_

_It was always you I despised_

_I don't feel enough for you to cry, oh well _

_Here's a lullaby to close your eyes _

_Goodbye _

_Goodbye _

_Goodbye_

_Goodbye_

_Here's a lullaby to close your eyes_

_Goodbye_

_It was always you that I despised_

_I don't feel enough for you to cry, oh well _

_Here's a lullaby to close your eyes_

_Goodbye_

_Here's a lullaby to close your eyes _

_Goodbye_

_It was always you I despised_

_I don't feel enough for you to cry, oh well _

_Here's a lullaby to close your eyes _

_Goodbye _

_Goodbye _

_Goodbye_

_Goodbye_

the last whisper of song died in the air and the wolf shook it's head and loped down from the bluff, shying away from every breeze as though it might be burned. I no longer want to see my birthplace, the wolf thought, if I could I would reject that I was born a human and stay as a wolf for the rest of my life. but I have no pack anymore and I can't stand being alone anymore. I cannot stay a wolf but I will only drive myself into insanity if I try to go back to who I was before, the wolf shook her head again and pushed her thoughts to backwards to the buried place in her mind where her human self rotted. The wolf ran on, moving faster now. A strong gust of wind dragged at the wolf's thick white hair pulling it towards the place she had left. She ran on, wheeling unconsciously to follow the wind.

A/N: I won't be updating for awhile because I'm relocating, This is written the night before I leave. The song is from Silent hill which is not mine. sorry that I didn't update the stories that people actually read, but If anyone does read this please, please, please comment.


	2. Chapter 2: rain

Rain poured down on the already soggy ground and flowed into the rivers. slowly the water swelled and splashed upwards almost steadily till the water arrived in the small river side houses with a enchanting fuery. People scattered like ants though the valley and their cries reached the road the wound high above them. A large white wolf was passing on the road, her fur soaked by the rain, she heard the cries of the people in the valley and leaped easily across the flooded ditch to peer into the valley. once she might have been sorely tempted to help the people caught in the flood, how she was not sure. But now she saw them as a wolf sees humans, as other races living other ways whose sorrows and hardships could be discounted easily. The wolf snuffed the ground for a moment, then leaped back over the raging water and continued on her way. she was still moving steady west even though the breeze that had first guided her there had long since died. It had been been days, though it seemed hours, since she had sat on a rock in the harsh sun listening to words that no other creature could hear. since then her human mind had broken, from what she no longer knew, and It lay, like the crumped draft of an wanted poem, in a corner of her mind gathering dust. She had forgotten, it seemed, the layer of her self that was human or bard. She was just a wolf now.

lighting flashed through the sky then crumbled back into darkness as thunder accosted the wolf's ears. It began to rain harder and the wolf searched for a place to spend the night but found none in the low green fields. The wolf jumped back onto the road and shook herself angrily though she knew it was pointless to try to ward of the sheets of rain that fell in ribbons from the churning cloudy sky. Guided by her old memories the wolf turned to the north, there were mountains there, though far away, and they were filled with welts where ancient glaciers had been dragged down by their own weight and deep pock marks from storms and glaciers. Perfect places to shelter for the night though more than a little cold. I would be risky, straying so close to the Wintering. But she hated the rain enough to take whatever shelter she could find, even if it was on the Winterking's doorstep. this rain was different from the soft innocent rain that had reached her as she journeyed to Pellinor, it was harsh as freezing, she would have almost preferred the burning cold of blizzard. the Wolf lengthened her steps into a run, It was late afternoon and she wanted to reach the mountains before midnight, so that she could sleep as long as possible before moving back east. It seems pointless all this traveling, the wolf surprised herself by think, she had not thought as a human would since her human mind broke. but this did not seem to her to be human thought, it was smoother and more tidy than the rash, unfinished and raw thoughts that churned in human minds. This thought brought the hint of a silky cold feeling with it, like the fur of a newborn wolf or the dew petals of a flower just after dawn, so different from the saturated coldness of the rain or the harsh coldness of the Winterking.

A/N: meh, It's 4 am i'm still up. I don't own anything. please review, It will make me very happy but more importantly It will give me more of an idea as to where to with this story

_It's five o'clock in the morning._

_the conversation got boring..._

sorry no random songs any more. I'm going to bed like a good girl nao...


End file.
